Why Emotionally Available Partners Can Feel ‘Boring’
There’s a reason you can’t just think your way into healing.
Because healing isn’t intellectual—it’s embodied. Your body remembers. She holds stories—of pain, pleasure, survival, and truths you’ve silenced in order to feel safe. And until you return to her wisdom… those patterns will continue to play out, especially in love.
I’ve been there. I used to have a thing for the ‘bad boy’ archetype. I continuously chose the wrong boys and it ended up causing me more pain, more heartache, more wounds to heal. They piled on top of each other until, one day, I knew I needed to make a major shift. This moment of realization brought me to some deep healing work. I focused on my mindset, my energy, healing my heart and also… my womb. It took time, but it was more than worth it. In the beginning the healthy men felt boring, but I had anticipated this due to wise advice. And lo and behold…. with time, my nervous system settled and everything shifted. I began to feel safe within relationship in a way I never had before.
I had an incredible conversation around this topic, with Bern.
BERN MENDEZ
In this powerful episode of The Feminine Codes Podcast, I’m joined by relationship expert Bernardo Mendez for a deep and illuminating conversation on the attraction wound and how it shapes our romantic lives.
Why do we fall for the ones who can’t give us what we need?
Bern breaks down the unconscious roots of our attraction to emotionally unavailable partners—and why it often feels more intense than the quiet, stable love we say we desire.
Together, we explore:
💔 The link between childhood experiences and adult relationship patterns
💔 Why emotional safety can feel “boring” if you grew up in chaos or unpredictability
💔 How to recognize and break free from addictive relationship loops
💔 What it means to rewire your nervous system to feel safe with healthy, secure love
If you’ve ever questioned your own patterns or felt confused by your attraction to certain people, this episode is a must-listen.
It’s not about blame—it’s about awareness, compassion, and taking your power back.
Because healing in love begins by turning inward… By listening to the whispers of your body… And choosing relationships that honor your wholeness, not your wounds.
Listen now:
Find the episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube or Amazon Podcasts by searching:
👉 The Feminine Codes Podcast — Why Stable, Emotionally Available Partners Can Feel Painfully Boring, and How To Rewire Your Attraction Toward Healthy Passion
✨ Learn more about Bern at: www.bernmendez.com
Reflection + Ritual: Meeting the Attraction Wound in Your Body
Your body is always speaking to you. She remembers every time you had to abandon yourself for love, affection, or safety. But she also holds the key to repatterning those stories.
Take 10–15 minutes to create sacred space for this ritual.
You’ll need:
A candle or sacred object (Get Your RITUAL Candle here)
A journal
A quiet space where you won’t be interrupted
Optional: A playlist with soft, instrumental or sensual feminine music
Begin with the body:
Close your eyes.
Place one hand on your heart, the other on your womb.
Take 5 slow, deep breaths and begin to feel into your body.
Let yourself remember a relationship dynamic that felt confusing, painful, or addictive. Not to relive it, but to witness where your body still holds that memory.
Ask yourself:
Where do I feel this story in my body? (Tightness in the chest? A hollow in the belly?)
What part of me believed I needed to stay, fix, or prove myself to be loved?
What does my body need to feel safe now?
What version of me chose that relationship? What version of me is emerging now?
Then, whisper to yourself:
“I am no longer available for love that asks me to abandon myself. I am only available for love that honors my truth.”
Blow out your candle or offer a breath of gratitude to your body. She is your oracle. Trust her.
Your Next Steps: A Personal Invitation
If this reflection stirred something within you, trust that your body is guiding you home. There are sacred ways to walk this path- whether you’re just awakening or ready to lead others.
Here are three ways we can journey together:
1. Sacred Woman 1:1 Session
For the woman who desires deep, personal guidance and healing.
These private sessions are designed to help you unravel old patterns, reconnect to your womb wisdom, and open to the sensual power within.
2. The Feminine Codes App
For the woman who wants to immerse herself in daily embodiment practices, meditations, and transmissions—at her own pace.
Your personal temple space, always with you.
🔗 Download The Feminine Codes App
3. The Initiation: A Mystery School of the Feminine Arts
For the woman who knows she’s here for more—and is ready to fully step into her feminine gifts, purpose, and power.
Starts September 5th.
This is where mystery, mastery, and mentorship merge.
You are not here to settle. You are here to remember who you are. Let’s walk this sacred path together.
